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| Image: Clips Ahoy |
Being in my third week back at university, the inevitable
doom of having to get out of bed every day has begun to strike its ugly chord. As
frustrating and somewhat embarrassing as it is, getting out of bed is something
that a lot of us struggle with, even when we’re not hungover after too many
Jaegar bombs the night before. I am hoping that this prolonged bed-kidnapping
phase is just that, a phase, but in the mean time I have come up with some
solutions to help with that quotidian activity we all dread.
1) The ‘Desert
Island Alarm Clock’. A great technique for ensuring you arise from your bed
at a speedy pace is to leave your alarm clock (or your phone) with the most
annoying ringtone you can find on the other side of the room. Warning: Do not attempt if you’re
living the ultimate student lifestyle and can reach every surface in your room
from your bed, this one might not work for you.
2) The ‘Breakfast
Date’. If you promise a friend that you’ll meet them for a coffee before
lectures/work you’ll feel like you really can’t let them down. Warning: Do not attempt if you don’t
have any form of guilt complex.
3) The ‘Friend
Alarm’. Persuade another friend with a 9am to create the raving,
party-scene in your bedroom. Flickering lights, loud music in your ear and
plenty of jumping up and down on top of you will do the trick. They’ll love
watching you suffer and you might manage to stir slightly. Warning: Do not attempt if unwanted disturbance can cause the
occasional violent impulse.
4) The ‘Hold
it in’. This might sound like a bit of masochistic torture, but why not
avoid that desire to go to the loo just before you get into bed so that by the
time morning comes you’ll have no choice but to jump out of bed in a fluster. Warning: Do not attempt if a) you are
under 10 years old b) you have bed-wetting tendencies c) you’re drunk.
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